


Before You Go

by evakayaki



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, eliott and lola friendship, gapfiller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:42:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24720256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakayaki/pseuds/evakayaki
Summary: Takes place between the Les Cassos and Mea Culpa clips (Saturday and Sunday). Eliott and Lucas talk about what happened with the club and what it means for their relationship.—————-His brain was trying to hack its way out of his skull through the back of his eyes. That much he was sure of. That and the sunlight was trying to kill him.Reaching out for comfort, his hand flopped against cold sheets. And maybe he was a martyr, but he cracked an eye open to be met with a half-made bed. Clearly Lucas hadn’t slept there.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 10
Kudos: 88





	Before You Go

His brain was trying to hack its way out of his skull through the back of his eyes. That much he was sure of. That and the sunlight was trying to kill him. 

Reaching out for comfort, his hand flopped against cold sheets. And maybe he was a martyr, but he cracked an eye open to be met with a half-made bed. Clearly Lucas hadn’t slept there. 

Groaning, Eliott pushed himself slowly into a sitting position. His mouth was dry and tasted gross. His nostrils filled with the stench of a club. _What happened?_

He knew it was going to take a lot of effort, but he managed to get to his feet and shakily walk out into the living room. All the while his stomach churned, and he bit back anything threatening to come up. 

Immediately he noticed a blanket and pillow neatly stacked on the sofa, but his brain really didn’t register it. The smell of coffee did get his brain going and almost on autopilot, he walked gingerly into the kitchen. All the while, he silently cursed the concept of light as the brightness seemed to sear his brain. 

“Morning,” he managed out, spotting Lucas leaning against the kitchen counter, coffee cup in hand. 

Lucas hummed in response. 

“Fuck, I feel like death,” Eliott moaned, “What’d we do last night?”

Lucas set his mug down, “Of course you don’t remember,” he grumbled under his breath, but Eliott heard it, nonetheless.

“What?” Eliott asked, coffee temporarily forgotten. 

Lucas sighed, “I’m not...I’m not even mad anymore. I’m just...I knew this would happen.” He looked down and took a deep breath. 

“What are you talking about?” Eliott winced at a sharp pain in his head. 

“Later, when you’re less hungover,” Lucas made to leave the room only to have Eliott grab his arm. 

“Now,” Eliott begged.

Lucas sighed again, “Okay. I had to pick you up from the police station drunk tank. After getting a call from....fucking _Lola_.”

“I-“ Eliott tried to remember the night before. Flashes of drinking, Lola and dancing came back. Not really clear, but he remembered. 

Lucas shook his head, “Of all the people out there. All our friends. If you wanted to go get fucking wasted you could have done it with anyone! Why her? What is it about her?”

Eliott shook his head, trying to get the fog to lift on his memory of the previous night. 

“You told me you wanted to help her. That you saw her as a little sister. But she’s not, is she? She’s more to you. And don’t even try to lie.” Lucas took a breath. “Did you fuck her?”

“What?” Eliott really didn’t want to do this now. He just wanted to go lie down and surrender to darkness for a few more hours. 

“I hope it was worth it,” Lucas sniffled. “Just... why her? Why fucking her, Eliott? Why her?” Lucas yelled. 

“Because she doesn’t fucking judge me! She doesn’t look down on me!” Eliott felt anger overtake his hangover pain as his conversation with Lola cane flooding back. 

“I have never judged you or looked down on you,” Lucas’ voice was full of emotion and Eliott felt a twinge of regret at his own words. 

“But you have. Don’t you see? Every time you look at me, I know! I feel it! _Is this the beginning of an episode? Is he just happy and productive or manic?_ Don’t tell me you never questioned my behavior?” Eliott wanted to know. 

Lucas started to shake his head only to have Eliott cut him off. 

“Don’t lie to me! You’re wondering if I’m manic right now, aren’t you?” Eliott demanded. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes! Okay? Fucking, yes!” Lucas screamed. “Because I can’t see how you’d go and intentionally fuck up our relationship for _her_!”

“Maybe it was me!” Eliott couldn’t take it. “Maybe I’m sick of you acting like you’re so much better than people like Lola. Like _me_! News flash, Lucas, you’re not perfect!”

Lucas took an involuntary step backward and Eliott internally winced at the loom in Lucas’ eyes, knowing he’d probably crossed a line, but too enraged to care. 

“I’m sorry that I love you,” Lucas whispered after several long minutes. “I don’t think I can keep doing this with you. With someone who doesn’t want to try.”

A cold icy chill started at the back of Eliott’s spine and worked its way up. “What?” He could barely get the word out. “What are you saying, Lucas?”

“Do you even care anymore?” Lucas looked away and Eliott tried to chase the boy’s gaze to no avail. 

“Of course I do!” Eliott tried to put all his conviction into his words. “I’ve...I’ve been trying _for you_.”

Lucas finally met Eliott’s eyes. “For me?”

“For you, Lucas. For you,” Eliott declared. 

“No,” Lucas shook his head. “It can’t be for me. It has to be for you.”

“What?” Eliott whispered. 

“You have to take me out of the equation. You have to want to work on yourself for you and...you’re not ready to.” Lucas shrugged, looking so lost that Eliott wanted nothing more than to hold the boy and shut out the world forever, and it stung he couldn’t do that. 

“Just because I screwed up one time?”

“Not just once,” Lucas sighed. “You’ve been lying to me. Sneaking around. And maybe that’s on me. Maybe I pushed you too hard or... didn’t listen. Maybe I wasn’t more.”

Eliott shook his head and grabbed Lucas’ hand tight between his hands. “No, Lucas...”

“I love you, Eliott,” Eliott felt Lucas’ hand slip from his. “But something has to give. And I just...maybe we need to just stop for a little while.”

“Break up?” Eliott squeaked out. “You’re just giving up on us because I got drunk?”

Lucas shook his head. “I can’t be with you if you just...you resent me. And maybe...maybe we just need some time apart.”

“Lucas...” Eliott didn’t know what to say because deep down in the pits of his mind, he knew Lucas had a point. He did harbor some resentment because he did feel like Lucas judged him. Made him feel like he was a child who needed to be looked after, when he was a grown man. 

“This is home, Eliott. You are home. But...but sometimes you need to leave it to better yourself. I know,” Lucas ran a hand through his hair. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t go back to it.” 

Eliott blinked, trying to hold back. 

“I need you to focus on you,” Lucas whispered. “So, I have a home to come back to.”

“Are you giving up on me?”

Lucas shook his head, and for the first time that morning willingly approached Eliott. Eliott watched Lucas’ hands reach for his face. Lucas’ hands softly held Eliott’s face on either side. “I will never give up on you.”

“What happens now?” Eliott closed his eyes, unable to take the intensity of Lucas’ gaze. 

“I’m...I’m going to stay with Yann and...and Arthur is coming to hang out with you,” Lucas whispered. 

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Eliott whispered back. 

“You need someone...” Lucas cleared his throat. “Arthur needs a place to crash for a few days...needs a holiday from his parents.” 

Eliott knew it was a lame excuse, but he also knew he didn’t want to... _couldn’t_ loose Lucas. “And after that?”

“That’s...that’s up to you,” Lucas sighed. 

“Are you asking me not to see Lola?”

Lucas shook his head, “No. I’m asking you to...to be in _this_ with _me_.”

“And Lola?” Eliott wanted time to kick himself. Why the fuck was he bringing her up now? But he couldn’t stop. “This isn’t her fault.”

“It’s a little her fault. It’s a lot your fault, but it’s a little hers,” Lucas shrugged. “She manipulated you, but _you_ allowed her to.”

“She’s mentally ill, Lucas!” 

“So are you!” Lucas screamed and Eliott had to take a step back. “Fuck,” Lucas hung his head. 

Eliott inhaled sharply, “I love you, Lucas, but you don’t understand. You will never completely understand.”

“Fuck,” Lucas looked away and Eliott watched as the boy quickly wiped his eyes. 

And somehow the air felt so much thicker, heavier as the gravity of what was happening hit Eliott. He didn’t want to fight. He didn’t want Lucas to go. He just wanted to erase the last twenty four hours. Wake up in yesterday again. Wake up in a world where Lucas and he weren’t fighting. Where Lucas wasn’t leaving. Where he didn’t feel like utter, utter shit. 

“Please don’t go, Lucas. Please.” Eliott knew he was begging. “Stay. Let’s just...let’s fight it out. Get through this. Please.”

Lucas’ shoulders sagged. “I don’t know what to do any more. I don’t...I just...”

“Who said you had to do anything?” Eliott reached and grabbed Lucas’ hand. “All this is on me. I told you I’d screw up.”

Lucas sniffled and Eliott couldn’t help himself as he reached out with his free hand, his thumb wiping away a stray tear. 

“I’m exhausted, Eliott. I so tired of worrying about you, school, my mom...I don’t think I can do it anymore,” Lucas admitted. 

Eliott took a chance and pulled the boy into his arms. “Then don’t. I had one screw up, but that doesn’t mean I’m not here. That I can’t be there for you. I’m not glass. I won’t break.”

He felt Lucas relax slightly in his embrace. “I’ll...I’ll stay. But, if there’s a next time, I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Eliott held on a little tighter, feeling his head start to burn and remind him of his late-night activities. “Lucas?”

“Hmm?” Lucas looked up. And Eliott was grateful that the rage that once filled his boyfriend seemed to have dissipated. 

“I really need to lay down,” Eliott winced as the pain seemed to amplify in his head. 

Lucas nodded, “I’ll get you some aspirin.”

Eliott nodded back and as he walked the few steps back to the bedroom, he couldn’t help feeling like he was losing Lucas. 

Maybe Lola was right after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before the Sunday clip was posted. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Story title from Lewis Capaldi's song, "Before You Go" 
> 
> Also, feel free to check out my Skam/Druck Youtube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/evakayaki


End file.
